As John mentioned today, I too am getting tired of news anchors calling this election mess a "Constitutional Crisis".  They just like to use the word crisis, it's dramatic, it boosts their ratings.  A Constitutional crisis is when the Constititution isn't clear about how to proceed, either through failing to address a situation, or through a conflict within itself.  No one is questioning the Constitution in this matter.  All of the court cases are about Florida election rules and regulations.  The U.S. Constitution is very clear, on December 18th, some electors will cast some votes, and we'll have a President.  It's up to the states how those electors are determined, so leave the Constitution out of it, and drop the word crisis.  Clinton has over two months left in office, you can't use the word crisis for at least 5 more weeks.

You want to see a nation in crisis?  Look at Israel, that's crisis my friends.  If this Onion story were true, then we'd be in a crisis.  Now we're just being impatient.

Another election joke in my e-mail today, from both my mom and my grandfather...

To the citizens of the United States of America,

 In the light of your failure to elect anybody as President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. 

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories including New Jersey.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with the following acts:

1. Look up "revocation" in the now official Oxford Dictionary ($75).
2. Start spelling English words correctly.
3. Learn at least the first 4 lines of "God Save The Queen"
4. Start referring to "soccer" as football. 
5. Declare war on Quebec and France. 
6. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason. 
7. Close down the NFL. Learn to play rugby. 
8. Enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their names before you eat.
9. July 4th is no longer a public holiday, this has been replaced with November 5th.
10. All members of this British Crown Dependency will be required to take 6 weeks annual holiday (previously known to you as vacation) and observe statutory tea breaks.
11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the change immediately, trucks will naturally follow in two months time. 
12. Report to our Consulate General in NY - M Wragg - for your new passport and job allocation. 
13. Have Meg Ryan report to the Prince Andrew's Bedchamber.
14. Add the Royal insignia to the top of the Washington Monument - and the Queen's Christmas speeches to the Lincoln Memorial. 
15. Stop referring to the World Series of Baseball and instead call it the National Series of USA, Cuba and Japan.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation and have a nice day!

Bush/Lieberman ticket? If this lawsuit holds up in court, the Texas electors won't be able to cast their votes for Dick Cheney as Vice President because both he and George W. are from Texas.  Here's the 12th Amendment, which explains why, the emphasis was added by me:

The Electors shall meet in their respective states and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President, and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate; -- the President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted; -- The person having the greatest number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. [And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President. --]* The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed, and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

*Superseded by section 3 of the 20th amendment.

Here's a joke I received in my e-mail this morning:

NBC is developing a Texas version of "Survivor." Contestants must travel from Amarillo to Fort Worth, through Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, then on to San Marcos, Lubbock, and back to Amarillo, driving a Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads: "I'm for Gore, I'm gay, and I'm here to take your guns."

The first to complete the round trip is the winner.