Michael Jackson - Not Guilty

For purely selfish reasons, I'm glad Michael Jackson was not found to be guilty, simply because this means I won't have to sit through endless appeals and even more media hoopla, other than the obligatory civil trial(s). I wish my TV/TiVo had keyword blacklisting, I want to be able to program it to not display any show containing the words "Michael Jackson" in its closed captioning data.

I'd also use that capability for Puff Daddy/P.Diddy/Sean Combs, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and anyone who is a Scientologist. Oh wait, crap, that means I couldn't watch The Simpsons, since Nancy Cartwright belongs to that cult. Damn... Uh, okay, it needs to be a filter that's only applied to non-fiction shows...

Can I patent this?