Undead Tech Support

I just posted a Disturbing Search Request, someone found my page after searching for Undead Tech Support.  I'm sorry, but I'm not that experienced in providing solutions to the supernatural.  The site that they were probably looking for is quite funny, however.  Here's a bit:

TechSup: Hello, Undead Technical Support, may I please have your name and the date of your death?

Cust: Ummmm, yes... I am Vlad the Impaler and I am a GREAT AND MIGHTY VAMPIRE!!!

TS: Can I please have your date of death, sir, as we have currently Around 120 Vlad the Imaplers on file? It is a fairly common name among the undead.

Cust: Ummm, yes... uhhh... well, you see, I haven't actually died yet... I was just sort of, you know, looking to see if someone would, like, you know, bite me, or if there is some sort of trial period?

TS: Yes, sir, unfortunately we can not provide that service. I would, however, point you towards you nearest foreboding castle or dark alley to find a blood sucking fiend of your choice.

Cust: Oh, why thank you! (Click)